


there's sunshine in your smile

by yubiniverse



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, F/F, Flower Language, Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Or Is It?, Unrequited Love, minji is so done with bora, oblivious yoohyeon, stubborn bora, voice of reason minji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22462051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yubiniverse/pseuds/yubiniverse
Summary: “Yes, we did!” Yoohyeon insisted with wide eyes. “Actually, I think it wouldn’t hurt if our room was just a little bit brighter…You know, I hear people sleep better with flowers in the same room. It might be worth trying, SuA-unnie.”“Flowers?” Bora squinted at her roommate, though, one look at the taller idol confirmed that she was 100% serious. “Okay then, oh-so wise dongsaeng. What kind of flowers should we get?”-What begins as simple fondness soon becomes a spiral of raw emotions far beyond her control. Unbeknownst to Kim Bora, love is blossoming in her chest for Kim Yoohyeon - although, if she isn't careful, that love might just kill her.
Relationships: Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Yoohyeon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73
Collections: dreamcatcher rarepairs 2k20





	there's sunshine in your smile

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: yellow
> 
> this ended up much longer than i had originally intended, but i hope you all enjoy regardless~
> 
> \- luo

“  _ ‘I often get sleep paralysis. Have you guys ever had any nightmares?’  _ ” Handong slowly read off of the tablet in front of them.

“If it’s nightmares, it’s SuA- _ unnie _ ,” Yubin’s words brought Bora back to reality on the Heyo TV studio set. The chorus of resounding laughter from her members made her face flush, and the older girl tried to play off her embarrassment with a smile.

(If the others noticed, they declined to comment on it.)

“I usually have a lot of nightmares,” Bora relented to the cameras, trying to offset her nervousness by playing with her hair, “but recently, I haven’t had any.”

“You haven’t?”

“You’ve been sleeping  _ too _ well…”

The shorter idol ignored Siyeon and Yoohyeon’s comments, instead choosing to continue her story. “But, I  _ did _ have a precognitive dreamlike nightmare,” Bora paused for dramatic effect, “a snake swallowed me whole!”

A chorus of gasps met her statement, until Gahyeon spoke up shortly after.

“Then, someone in your family…” The maknae began in a serious voice, “...might have a baby.”

“Are you interpreting my dream?!” Bora accused, and felt her cheeks turn redder at the second round of laughs that immediately followed her shout. “A baby…” She sighed, lowering her volume and recollecting herself. “But, when I have nightmares, Yoohyeon struggles a lot. We’re roommates, and she sleeps on the top bunk. So sometimes I would be moving around and kick the top bunk, and wake up while screaming…”

“And whenever I do that, Yoohyeon is still snoring as usual,” this earned a resounding snicker from the other girls, since it was no secret that the taller girl was a heavy sleeper, and Bora momentarily relished in seeing Yoohyeon be flustered for a change. “But, there  _ is _ one time Yoohyeon saved me. Our bed collapsed one time, since I kicked it so hard…”

“I was so surprised, while I was sleeping I heard her saying,  _ “Yoohyeon, save me!” _ ,” Yoohyeon added, her eyes wide. “So I wondered if that was real, and woke up. SuA- _ unnie _ was kicking from the bottom bunk, but she was still asleep. So when I went to wake her up, I saw that the bed frame had fallen! So I put it back and we slept well, after that.”

“Ah...really, that’s so scary…” Minji let out a disbelieving sigh. “Are you sure you slept well?”

“Yes, we did!” Yoohyeon insisted with wide eyes. “Actually, I think it wouldn’t hurt if our room was just a little bit brighter… You know, I hear people sleep better with flowers in the same room. It might be worth trying, SuA- _ unnie _ .”

“Flowers?” Bora squinted at her roommate, though, one look at the taller idol confirmed that she was 100% serious. “Okay then, oh-so wise  _ dongsaeng _ . What kind of flowers should we get?”

“Tulips!” Yoohyeon exclaimed into the mic, which startled most of the girls present, Bora included. “They come in so many colors, too… But I would get yellow tulips.”

“Why yellow tulips?” Siyeon chimed in curiously.

“Well…” Yoohyeon paused, before grinning. “Yellow is my favorite color! Yellow tulips also hold a lot of symbolic significance in flower language. It’s said the Victorians interpreted their symbolism to mean, ‘ _ there’s sunshine in your smile _ ’. That’s what I think about you, SuA- _ unnie! _ ”

“Yoohyeon, stop being so cheesy, would you?” Minji laughed out loud, playfully smacking the younger girl on the shoulder, who clutched her arm in fake agony. That got another laugh out of the members, Bora letting out a small chuckle upon watching the exchange. Yoohyeon’s bright smile was infectious and uplifting all the same, that much was clear to see.

_ You say that, _ Bora mused to herself,  _ but don’t you realize there is sunshine in your smile, too? _

* * *

The rest of their schedules went by rather quickly that day, and it wasn’t long until they retired to the dorms for the afternoon. Most of the other members were either relaxing in their rooms, or lounging in the dorm’s common area. Through the window, Bora could make out the setting sun on the horizon, so she decided it was time to start fixing up dinner for the rest of the girls.

_ Bibimbap _ should be fine for tonight, Bora thought to herself, gathering her hair into a ponytail before washing her hands and setting out the ingredients.

Preparing the meal went without much incident, though Bora couldn’t help but notice a weird pressure near her sternum throughout the evening. It didn’t necessarily hurt, but by the time that she had finished cooking dinner, the weird sensation had migrated upwards, and the foreign sensitivity was really starting to bother her.

“Dinner’s ready,” Bora called out from the kitchen, and she began to grow concerned when clearing her throat did nothing to mitigate the congestion sitting at the base of her throat.

One by one, the members filtered in, serving themselves from the several pans of food on the counter. It was customary at this point in their routine that Bora would let everyone take their portion before serving herself, a habit that she had failed to break from even since their MINX days. It wasn’t from lack of trying, either - it didn’t sit well with Minji that Bora would put the other members’ needs before her own, especially when the dancer was easily their most hard-working member, but the red-head had long since given up on trying to change that.

As Yoohyeon passed her on the way to the dinner table, the younger woman gave Bora a megawatt-smile and a brief bow of her head. “Thank you for cooking us dinner tonight,  _ unnie! _ ”

“Don’t mention it,” Bora responded with a bit of a forced smile, the strange pressure in her neck suddenly much less bearable. She soon realized with great dread that she wouldn’t be able to push down whatever was clawing its way up her throat - the congestion was almost swelling, traveling at an alarming rate towards her mouth.

“Are you doing alright?” Minji asked her with a frown. Bora inwardly cursed, realizing her distress must have been showing on her face.

“Ah- yeah, I’m fine,” Bora answered with what she hoped was a convincing smile, though to her it felt much more like a sickly grimace. She hated lying to the older woman, but the sooner she could disengage from the situation, the better. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back…”

Bora set her plate down on the counter and dismissed herself from the kitchen, walking towards the bathroom in what she desperately hoped was an appropriate, unsuspicious pace. Her throat began to burn, and she felt tears in the corner of her eyes as she made it to their shared bathroom, closing the door as gently as she could manage, before jostling manically with the lock until she heard it click into place.

Bora could hardly even see where she was going, and she barely made it to the toilet before the pressure in her neck exploded outward. All she could register was the burn in her lungs, and the acrid taste of iron along with something else that she couldn’t quite distinguish. The dancer’s body shuddered as she heaved and retched, panic spreading through her mind as she felt something tangible clog up her airway.

The mere feeling of not being able to breathe was more than enough to trigger her gag reflex, and with a second wave of nausea, another string of coughs finally allowed Bora to hack up whatever was lodged in her throat.

( _ “There’s sunshine in your smile.” _ )

With blackness speckling the edges of her vision, Bora watched in horror as several clumps of bloodied petals hit the water with a sickening splash.

( _ “That’s what I think of you, SuA-unnie!” _ )

_ Yellow tulips. _

* * *

The first couple of times, Bora had been able to offplay her frequent bathroom breaks as a simple stomach bug, but it was only a matter of time until Minji found out. The older woman was extremely observant, annoyingly so, and Bora figured her constant excuses this past month were beginning to seem suspicious, even to herself.

Bora politely excused herself from the dinner table once again when she felt the familiar blossoming of flowers in her throat, not even bothering to lock the bathroom door as her tunnel vision kicked in. She had a belated realization that she wouldn’t make it to the toilet in time, roughly collapsing beside the bathroom sink as her body convulsed with a string of violent coughs. Her hands flew to her throat as she tried to massage the burning sensation in her throat - to no avail - as she retched up a handful of petals on the cold tile floor. Between trying not to gag on the acrid taste of the tulips still lodged in her throat and trying to get rid of the blood pooling in her mouth, Bora didn’t even register the noise of the door opening behind her.

Bora didn’t take notice of another person’s presence until she felt somebody’s hand rubbing gentle circles into her back. Turning her head, the dancer could make out Minji’s face in the low light - but just as she opened her mouth to say something, another wave of nausea hit her, and once again she was spattering bloodied flowers on the bathroom floor.

For a while, Minji said nothing, simply taking a napkin and gingerly cleaning the blood off her face, kneeling down to sit beside Bora. Then, she finally asked, “Who is it?”

“Wh…” The syllables weren’t quite coming out right, since all Bora could focus on was how awful the combined taste of tulips and blood were on her tongue. The burn in her throat had dulled, meaning that at least most of the flowers were gone from her windpipe. “What?”

“ _ Hanahaki _ ,” the older idol murmured, gently brushing Bora’s mussed hair out of her eyes. “The flower disease. You have it,” Minji glanced down at the mangled tulip petals laid out before the both of them. If the nauseating smell of the blood-soaked flowers bothered her, Minji didn’t mention it. Once more, the older idol repeated her earlier question, her eyes softening. “Please, Bora. Who is it?”

“What’s the point?” Bora muttered bitterly, regarding the flower petals by her feet with absolute disgust. “It’s not like she’ll love me back, anyway.” The dancer let those words sink in, before she realized her mistake. She internally cursed, refusing to look Minji in the eyes, afraid of what she might see. “Wait, I-”

“What’s her name?” Minji asked, finding Bora’s hand and gently intertwining their fingers. “ _ Please _ tell me you didn’t fall in love with Kim Taeyeon. No offense, but  _ those _ chances are less than slim.”

“Shut up,  _ unnie! _ ” Bora whined, halfheartedly pushing the taller woman as her face reddened in embarrassment. “No, I did  _ not _ fall in love with Kim Taeyeon, for your information,” Bora grumbled, before looking to the side, tone suddenly sobering up. “I fell in love with Kim  _ ‘Firefist of Incheon’ _ Yoohyeon.”

“Oh,” Minji replied simply, letting the silence grow between them before speaking up again. “How do you know she doesn’t like you back?”

“As if  _ Yoohyeon _ would ever love me back,” Bora sneered, though the red-head could tell that the younger girl had no real animosity behind her tone. “It’s best if I just drop it, anyways. There’s no way in hell that Kim Yoohyeon is  _ gay _ .”

Minji helped Bora up on the sink, her expression unreadable as she assisted Bora in cleaning up. Then, she broke the silence between them once more, her voice soft and motherly.

“With all due respect, Kim Bora,” Minji murmured, dabbling a towel gingerly across the younger’s bloodied lips, “you will never know unless you try. You cannot decide factors about someone you do not know;  _ not even yourself. _ ”

Bora declined to say anything, her gaze drifting to the side.

She hated when Minji was right.

* * *

Over the months, Bora liked to think she’d gotten better at hiding it. She had initially worried how touring would affect her condition (Minji especially had shared in her concern), but as they held more and more concerts across the globe, Bora felt a certain invincibility that she hadn’t experienced since before she fell for Yoohyeon. The stage made her feel strong in a way she wasn’t used to - she may as well make the best of it, Bora supposed. They were on the last leg of their South American tour, and Bora was determined to make this concert in Chile one of their very best.

The roar of the crowd never failed to amaze Bora; it reminded her of the first time they had toured outside of Korea, stepping foot on the stage in front of thousands of their international fans like it was a dream they had never wanted to wake up from. If she could, she would gladly spend the rest of her life getting to make memories with their fans all over the world.

There was something else that she noted, during their shows on foreign soil - the atmosphere was totally different from any of the concerts they held in Korea. It was less suffocating; even the more reserved members who typically kept to themselves during domestic promotions had been showcasing a side of themselves overseas that Bora had not previously been aware of. When Bora looked out into the concert hall, she didn’t see the predatory eyes of netizens waiting for vulnerability to present itself so that they could shred  _ Dreamcatcher _ to pieces. She instead saw a vast ensemble of supporters, of fans, of  _ people _ . The positivity and the utter lack of judgment emanating from the crowd made Bora giddy with confidence. Even as they neared the end of the concert, the energy outpouring from their audience still made Bora feel like she was on top of the world.

_ Pulls me in enough to keep me guessing _

_ And maybe I should stop and start confessing _

Yoohyeon’s voice was like heaven personified, one of the most beautiful sounds Bora had ever heard in her life. She could feel the distant pressure of budding flowers in her throat, but ignored it in favor of listening to Yoohyeon’s every word leaving her lips. She couldn’t understand the lyrics quite like the younger girl could, being that she wasn’t fluent in English, but Bora still got the gist of the song.

(Looking out in the crowd and spotting a wide assembly of brightly-colored polychromatic flags, something told her their fans held a similar understanding.)

_ Oh, I’ve been shaking _

_ I love it when you go crazy _

Bora made eye contact with the taller idol on stage as she sang, meaning every single word that left her lips, all of which Bora knew Yoohyeon had a perfect understanding of. Maybe she would never be able to tell Yoohyeon how she really felt, but it was a small comfort to her, being able to sing her heart out like this, like nothing else mattered.

_ You take all my inhibitions _

_ Baby, there’s nothing holding me back _

Bora broke her focus from the younger, instead directing her gaze to her own handheld camcorder, missing the look of longing in Yoohyeon’s eyes.

Later that night, when her  _ hanahaki _ affliction flared up and she excused herself to the bathroom, she didn’t notice the look of concern crossing Yoohyeon’s face, either.

* * *

“Bora…”

“We  _ have _ to stop meeting like this,” the dancer tried to joke, pretending like the tulips growing in her lungs weren’t months away from killing her. “The others might think we’re dating, or something.”

“Have you told her?” Minji asked, ignoring the younger’s previous statement completely. When she was met with silence, the idol let out an exasperated sigh. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Bora…”

“What the fuck am I  _ supposed _ to tell her, Minji?” Bora grumbled. “Am I supposed to say, ‘ _ Oh, by the way, I’ve been coughing up blood and flowers because I’ve been in love with you for the past year and I might die soon because of it _ ’? Like  _ hell _ I’d tell her that!”

“Well,  _ do _ something about it,  _ damn it! _ ” Minji snapped, grabbing Bora by the shoulders. “Siyeon and the others are starting to get worried, they know something’s up. If you’re not going to tell her, then…”

“ _ No! _ ” Bora snarled back, uncharacteristically aggressive, so much so that it briefly stunned Minji. “I am  _ not _ getting the surgery, Minji. You have to understand…”

“ _ I can’t lose you, don’t you understand?! _ ” The older idol shouted, before she recollected herself and let out a long sigh, quieting down. “You are  _ not _ dying on my watch, Bora. If you don’t tell her, then I will,” Minji told her sternly, “before it is too late.”

“ _ What- _ ” Bora sputtered incredulously, interrupted by a few more coughs, more flowers threatening to spill from her mouth. “You can’t just make a decision like that for me!”

“You can’t make a decision like that for  _ yourself _ ,” Minji corrected her with a pointed gaze, the resolve in her eyes clear as day. “I can, and I will.”

Bora was powerless to say anything more, as she watched the taller woman leave the bathroom, likely on her way back to the recording studio. She was stunned out of her stupor by the buzz of her phone in her pocket, to which she retrieved the device to see new messages lit up on her lockscreen.

_ [02:34] pink princess: _

_ New year, new you, right? _

_ [02:34] pink princess: _

_ Please tell her. _

_ [02:35] pink princess: _

_ I’m begging you, Bora _

Bora sighed, looking at herself in the mirror with a half-lidded stare.

_ You know I can’t... _

Everything from her sunken eyes to her pale skin and gaunt features were more than enough to indicate that she didn’t have very much time left.

_ I’m sorry, Minji. _

* * *

“Bora,” Minji asked exasperatedly, “why are you here?”

“I’m here to practice,” the dancer replied flatly, as if the answer was obvious, gesturing to the other occupants of the dance studio. “You know, like everyone else here?”

Minji, in contrast, looked like she was about to pop a vein in her forehead with how frustrated she seemed. “Why aren’t you  _ resting _ , Bora? You look like shit. Please go home.”

The red-head had a fair point, and Bora had definitely seen better days; the shorter woman’s face was pale, to the point that her complexion looked almost discolored. Her condition had worsened over the past year, and it was evident since January that the flowers taking root in her lungs were taking a huge toll on her health. Still, Bora was nothing if not stubborn, and a few words of warning from Minji didn’t mean much, if anything, to her.

“Our comeback is next month,” Bora argued, setting her bag down with the other girls’ belongings as she shrugged off her jacket. “It doesn’t matter if I’m not feeling well. It’s too late to rest, anyway.”

Minji relented with a sigh, and though her annoyance was clear on her face, she said nothing as the dance practice mostly went without incident, though the tension in the air was largely impossible to ignore. If it made the other members uncomfortable, they didn't acknowledge it.  


The peace was too good to be true, though, Bora knew. She had been reviewing the footwork of  _ Piri’s _ choreography with Siyeon and Handong when she felt the telltale signs of flowers swelling in her windpipe. She stopped mid-sentence, suddenly unable to articulate her syllables, trying to push the tulips back down her throat without much success.

Bora only managed to stagger a few measly steps towards the dance studio’s exit before she collapsed on the floor, darkness blotting the edges of her vision. She felt her panic level surge with her sudden inability to breathe, and she couldn’t fight the pressure in her throat anymore, helpless to watch herself choke on the flowers in the dance studio’s mirror.

The idol vaguely detected the other members on either side of her, opening her mouth to speak, only for more bits of bloody petals to eject themselves from her lips. Bora was aware enough to recognize Minji’s worried voice, but she couldn’t actually understand what the older woman was saying. Her throat burned as if it were on fire, and the intensity of the pain was nothing like Bora had ever felt before. A particularly large mass of petals lodged in her windpipe triggered her gag reflex, until Bora finally coughed it up, and she stared in horror at the ensanguined tulip laying in front of her, in full bloom for everyone to see. The last thing Bora registered was a pair of hands lifting her shoulders and panicked shouts on the edge of her consciousness until everything faded to black.

* * *

When Bora next opened her eyes, she realized she was laying in an unfamiliar room, a dull ache in her chest. The constant, rhythmic beeping of adjacent machinery and the pungent smell of antiseptic in the air led her to believe she was most likely in the hospital. Bora lifted her hands up to her throat, wincing at the tenderness of the area, belatedly taking notice of the IV drip embedded in the crook of her arm.

_ I remember collapsing in the studio, but… _

Bora frowned as she looked around the room, noting that it was empty, save for a drowsing red-head leaned back in one of the visitor chairs. Bora blinked to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating, and confirmed that, yes, Yoohyeon was in fact the only other person in the room.

Her struggling to sit up must have roused the taller idol, because Yoohyeon suddenly sprang up from her seat, effectively startling Bora in the process. “ _ Unnie _ , you’re awake!”

“Yeah,” Bora rasped, her voice gravelly and weak from lack of use. The look on Yoohyeon’s face was one of relief, and Bora couldn’t stop herself from smiling, despite the situation that put her there in the first place.

“Minji- _ unnie _ told me…” Yoohyeon trailed off, her expression melting away into a deep set frown. “ _ Unnie _ , why didn’t you say anything?”

“You made flowers grow in my lungs and, although they are beautiful, I cannot breathe,” the dancer murmured, seemingly avoiding the younger’s question altogether, before she tried to speak again. “Have you heard the saying  _ ‘ignorance is bliss’ _ , Yoohyeon-ah?” The red-head nodded, prompting Bora to continue. “I didn’t want you to worry about me, for a problem that wasn’t yours to begin with. I have no one but myself to blame, after all. If you were happy, that was all that mattered to me.”

“How could you say that?” Yoohyeon asked, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Bora felt a pang in her heart, but remained silent. “How do you know I didn’t fall in love with you too?”

“You’re… you’re just saying that,” Bora denied, tone disbelieving and bitter as she looked away from the taller girl, sighing and closing her eyes. At least she could tell Minji she tried.

“You don’t get to decide-” Yoohyeon began tearfully, her words cut off by a sudden string of coughs, and Bora felt something wet land on her hospital gown. She opened her eyes, and was shocked at what she saw.

Several small petals dappled with specks of blood lay in front of her, but Bora knew for a fact they weren’t hers.

_ Red petunias? _

“You don’t get to decide how I feel,” Yoohyeon muttered loud enough for Bora to hear, the bedridden idol turning her gaze to see the taller woman draw closer, thin lines of crimson dribbling from the corners of her mouth. “You don’t get to decide how I feel about you.”

Before Bora could say anything, she felt the younger’s lips brush her own, once, twice - until eventually Yoohyeon pressed their lips together firmly in a proper kiss. Her eyelids fluttered shut as she pulled the taller woman closer, desperate to match the younger’s intensity.

She wanted to prolong the kiss as long as possible, but they eventually had to separate to breathe. Bora gasped for air, her lips swollen from the contact as she tried to recollect herself, before something occurred to her. “Wait, you like me? Like, for  _ real? _ ”

Her statement elicited a laugh from the taller idol, who was still trying to regain her breath from earlier. “Why else would I have kissed you, stupid?” After she stopped laughing, Yoohyeon couldn’t help the teasing smirk growing on her face. “Now who’s the dumbass, huh?”

“But- I…” Bora sputtered, face turning red from embarrassment, unable to find the right words to combat the younger’s remark. “You actually…?”

“Yes,” Yoohyeon giggled, pecking her on the lips teasingly. “ _ I like you, Kim Bora. _ Do you want me to spell it out for you?”

The surprise attack caught Bora off-guard, turning her complexion an even brighter shade of red. “I- You- Shut up!”

“Make me!” Yoohyeon teased, playfully sticking her tongue out at the older idol. Bora settled for kissing her again, this time more aggressive, pulling the younger girl down with her this time.

"Can we agree on no more flowers for the dorm?" Bora asked after they broke away from each other.

"Huh?" In response, Yoohyeon tilted her head to the side (like a puppy might, Bora noted) and frowned. "Why not,  _ unnie _ ?"

"No offense, Yoohyeon-ah, but I've had enough of yellow tulips to last me a lifetime," the dancer responded bitterly. "No amount of aromatherapy will change that."

"But,  _ unnie _ …" Yoohyeon gave the older woman her infamous puppy eyes, to which Bora tried with all her might to resist. "You'll never know until you try!"

"Shut up and kiss me, dumbass," Bora sulked, and the younger was all too happy to oblige, both of them seemingly oblivious to the new presence standing by the doorway. If they noticed the other members watching from afar, neither of them particularly seemed to care.

Kissing Kim Yoohyeon gave her the same giddy feeling that performing overseas all those months ago had given her. Though she failed to notice in the heat of the moment, the dull ache in her chest had receded the instant their lips had met for the first time, and the tenderness in her throat had similarly melted away.

Kissing Kim Yoohyeon felt to her, just a little bit, like a missing piece of Kim Bora had come home.


End file.
